


one last kiss

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Post Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: post-reveal chats, feelings and sadness - but cautious optimism nonetheless.this isn't as ominous as the title will have you believe, no break ups I promise!***“Everyone says I’m the exception,” He says slowly, carefully; planning every word before they slip out of his mouth. “But I’m not, am I? I never have been.”If Robert’s shocked, he doesn’t show it – he looks straight back and watches every little movement on Aaron’s face. “No,” He agrees. “No, you’re not."





	one last kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if there's any mistakes but I'm currently posting this from a train, on my phone!
> 
> post-reveal chats, feelings and sadness - but cautious optimism nonetheless.

Aaron sits, unblinking, for hours. 

He feels the softness of their – _his and Robert’s_ – bedsheets on his skin, the comfort of their mattress underneath him, the scent of his husband all around him, safe and homely and everything it shouldn’t be right now. 

But he just sits.

He doesn’t think he’s waiting for Robert, not at first. He thinks he’s just taking it all in, accepting it and waiting for the worst (like it hasn’t already happened), so he keeps his fingers curled around the corners of a pillow, and his gaze trained on the top left corner of the doorframe. 

He can hear the church bells ringing – signalling _five, six, seven_ , but it doesn’t matter. He just sits. 

He realises that he is, in fact, waiting for Robert when he hears the front door click closed, the telltale sound of Robert wiping his shoes on the welcome mat, the metallic echoing of his footsteps on the stairs. He realises that he’s waiting for Robert when he lets out a breath he’s been holding since he stormed out of the Woolpack, tears on his cheeks and heart in his throat. 

He sees the shock of Robert’s blond hair first, and his gaze falls from the door frame to his husband. He looks- well, terrible, if Aaron’s being honest: hair sticking up in all directions from running his fingers through it or maybe even _yanking_ at it, cheeks burning red with shame and eyes so infinitely sad. 

But he lets the breath out all the same, stares at Robert and takes in every single detail as if it’s the last time he’ll ever see him. It may well be – Aaron hasn’t even made his mind up yet. He doesn’t know what to do, but does anyone in this situation? 

“Can I come in?” Robert asks softly, quietly, like he’s trying not to be heard. He’s shoulders are slumped, hands hanging uselessly by his sides. He looks broken.

Aaron swallows the lump in his throat and blinks through the way his eyes are burning as he glances away. “It’s your room too,” He offers lamely. “Your house.” He doesn’t know what else to say – never expected Robert Sugden _of all people_ to be asking permission instead of just taking what he wants.

“No,” Robert laughs, but it’s flat and humourless. “This was never my house. It’s yours and Liv’s, and I’ll never take that away from you.” He steps through into the bedroom, regardless, and hovers by the bed uncomfortably. He swallows, and Aaron can see his throat working, like the way his jaw is twitching. 

“Don’t be an idiot, Robert-” Aaron starts, but Robert interrupts with a self-deprecating _already have_. “Robert, I mean it. This is your home. You belong here, alright?” And then he’s looping his fingers around Robert’s wrist and pulling him onto the bed. He doesn’t think about it when it happens and kind of expects it to feel resentful – painful, at the very least – but it just feels the same as it always does. 

Warm. Electric. Safe.

He can feel Robert’s pulse through his skin, fluttery and almost weak but _there_. It reminds him that they’re still alive. “I love you,” The older man rushes out, words tripping over each other as if he’s scared it’s the last time he’ll get to say it. 

“I love you too,” Aaron sighs, tracing his fingertips over the pattern of Robert’s veins. “I always will.”

Robert hesitates. “But you’re going to leave me. But I've hurt you too much.” His voice sounds wrecked and broken, and he’s started shaking – he’s terrified, Aaron notes. He’s terrified because that’s exactly how much he loves Aaron: whole and encompassing, unafraid and unyieldingly. 

“At the very least,” Aaron settles softly, letting his fingertips drop so they’re touching Robert’s. “We need to talk. About this. About _us_.” The older man seems spellbound by the sensation, eyes focused on their hands.

But he agrees with a nod and a quiet, “Yeah.”

“It hurts,” Aaron starts. Then stops. Then licks his lips, tries to drag the words up his dry throat. “It hurts because I never thought you’d do it. I- There’s a part of me that expected it. A big part. But I never thought you’d _actually_ …” He drops his head to the side, avoids looking at Robert.

Robert huffs out a short laugh, and it’s scarily numb. “I didn’t think I would either,” He concedes. “But there’s this big, red, self-destruct button that I can’t help but push. People can’t hurt me if I hurt them first, right?” 

Aaron knows he’s right – he knows Robert too much, inside and out, and he knows that’s exactly what his husband is like and that’s how he’s programmed, but it doesn’t mean that it’s okay. He stares at Robert. “Everyone says I’m the exception,” He says slowly, carefully; planning every word before they slip out of his mouth. “But I’m not, am I? I never have been.”

If Robert’s shocked, he doesn’t show it – he looks straight back and watches every little movement on Aaron’s face. “No,” He agrees. “No, you’re not. But I’m trying. I’m trying to be better for you, and that’s more than I’ve done for anyone else. So maybe you aren’t the exception, but you’re the best thing that I’ll ever have.” 

“Rebecca warned me off,” Aaron says, thinking out loud. “She told me- She told me to leave, before you hurt me even more. But she doesn’t get it, does she? She doesn’t know what we’ve been through. She doesn’t know how much we love each other.” 

“She doesn’t get it,” Robert answers despite the rhetoric. “And she never will. No one will, Aaron.” 

Aaron nods, curling his fingers into the gaps between Robert’s. So maybe they’re not okay – maybe they won’t be for a while, and maybe it’ll be hard. But they’re both on the same page, and that’s enough. 

It’s enough for them to both want to fight for this, and Aaron can feel that as he presses a soft kiss to Robert’s lips and pushes his hair out of his face.

It’s more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](aarobron.tumblr.com) xo


End file.
